Those Crazy Germans

I live in one of the more glamorous neighborhoods of Minneapolis which is located on the other side of railroad tracks, in an industrial area, with my window looking out on the fabulous “Metal-Matic” factory. I call this place “Metal-Werks”, because “Metal-Matic” is a terrible name and “Metal-Werks”, well damn, that’s catchy. Admit it.

These metal workers are crazy. When this place first got built and I just moved here no one in the place had blinds and when I woke up the first night I looked out the window to see a bunch of these guys gathered around, hands on their hips, gazing up at the apartment windows, occasionally pointing and staring intently. That’s when I got up and pressed my fully naked body against the glass**.

Slackers.

Since then, they’ve done nothing but impress me. They work the craziest hours, I was looking out the window last night and i saw a couple of them lurking in the shadows….probably peeping again.

But their absolute finest moment occurred on Saturday morning. I was lying in bed and it was a nice day outside so I had the window open. Usually, I keep the ghetto-drive-thru-thick windows shut to keep the noise of grinding metal and passing trains out. But today was Saturday, the factory was closed, and it was peaceful. The breeze was blowing in and I could hear birds chirping. Everything was nice. Minus the view, it was just like a Robert Frost poem. And then it happened. The sound of the nastiest, hugest, and loudest burp in the world flew in the window and filled the room. I turned around, laughing, to see one lonely metal worker sitting outside drinking a beer. At the time I identified him as a “medium built, mullet toting metal worker sporting a hard hat and a utility vest”. But since then I’ve noticed that many of them are medium built and mullet sporting. They are all suspects.

FOOTNOTES:
**these events may or may not have really happened.

About this entry

You’re currently reading “Those Crazy Germans,” an entry on Jeff XL

Published:: 09.23.03 / 6:43 pm

Category:: My Favorites, Personal

All Posts:: / Later

In 'My Favorites':: / Later

In 'Personal':: / Later

Wow, what a great picture.

I love how your blankie is silently creeping in to the bottom frame of the photo.

What are the metal workers doing in that picture anyway? It’s like the one in the pinkish-purplish shirt is standing up in front of the others and giving a speech. Interpretive poetry, perhaps? Or…a Shakespearian sonnet?

bethshmack 09.23.03 / 10am

That’s not my blankie. That’s the lovely blue tarp that sits just outside of my window. The picture really doesn’t capture it’s true beauty. When the wind blows, it has a striking resemblance to the mighty Pacific Ocean.

jeffxl 09.23.03 / 10am

That’s a tarp??? Ugh, BARFZ!

Maybe you should get a 2nd Union Jack to put in your window since you’re too anal about taking the one from behind your desk down.

Oh yeah…and Moby isn’t gay.

I don’t know if I can handle any more union jacks in here.

And what do you mean Moby isn’t gay. He is so gay. We played pool, he kept trying to hug me, and then he said “Let’s finish this game, and then let’s get it on” What’s not gay about that? Jesus.

jeffxl 09.23.03 / 11am

Cube Buddy Matt assures me that he is most definitely not gay. They were just really drunk. Y’know how we drank 1/2 a bottle of Captain Morgan before going out? Well, they drank 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels…so they were even worse off than we were.

Matt told me that he had to carry Moby back to the apartment because apparently he kept trying to lay down in the grass too.

bethshmack 09.23.03 / 11am

I don’t buy it.

Are you homophobic?

Nope

So you wanna hang out with Moby sometime?

Ok, I have to ask; did you really press your naked body against the window, and, if so, do you have a picture of THAT?
Plus, maybe they’re not really construction workers. Maybe they’ve just found a really great way to get around those “No Loitering” signs, by donning hard hats.
(Btw, hi, I’m a friend of Beth’s.)

rhianna19 09.23.03 / 1pm

You must have missed the footnote. I didn’t press my body against the window, but I probably should have. That would have been funny.

jeffxl 09.23.03 / 1pm

*damn*

and i was really hoping to see that.

I agree with Rhi… Maybe they’re just sneaky loiterers… eh that sounds funny. loiter-ers. yeah.

Yes, friend of Beth’s here. She asked us to help you through your LJ virginity

Dani