Conversation With A Moron

My boss is gone this week, so I stuck yahoo on the computer I work on and I chat from time to time. Someone random found me and the following conversation is what resulted from that. The names have not been changed — screw ‘em. This was a great time. Bring on the morons! It reminds me of the good ol’ days in the computer store where Sam and I would go into chat rooms and just start ripping on all the omgwtflolers. Good times.

zed_momany: hey man
spiderpop: hey…you

zed_momany: i thought no body would respond
spiderpop: who is this?
zed_momany: i was going to chat with myself
zed_momany: zed 25 m
zed_momany: u
spiderpop: how’d you find me, and why
zed_momany: u dont know me
spiderpop: sure, but did you get my sn off of something i was on? Or is this completely random?
zed_momany: i got u,r email from the penpal group thong
zed_momany: thing
spiderpop: from the what?
zed_momany: groups.yahoo.com
zed_momany: did u get it now
spiderpop: no, because I don’t use those groups
zed_momany: u’r name is there
spiderpop: where
zed_momany: u must have forgotten
spiderpop: give me specifics
spiderpop: because it ain’t on the front page
zed_momany: http://profiles.yahoo.com/spiderpop
zed_momany: check it out
zed_momany: if u dont believe me
spiderpop: oh, that
spiderpop: lame
spiderpop: so what the hell did you search me out for ?
spiderpop: it says nothing about me
spiderpop: it says I’m male, no age, and that I’m online
spiderpop: and my sn is spiderpop
spiderpop: I’m just thinking of me in the same situation…and nothing would compel me to message
zed_momany: actually i was looking 4 a girl
zed_momany: but
zed_momany: they wouldent reply
spiderpop: so you turned gay?
spiderpop: that quickly?
zed_momany: ofcourse not
zed_momany: LOL
zed_momany: that was funny
zed_momany: i m still laghing can u believe it
spiderpop: no, i can’t
zed_momany: wait a minute
zed_momany: come to think of it
zed_momany: now i feel insulted
zed_momany: was that an insult
spiderpop: take it as it is
spiderpop: it was ambiguous
zed_momany: what that suposed to mean
zed_momany: spider shit
spiderpop: why are you wasting your creativity on a conversation with me? you should be giving lectures and writing books. GO! GO! Carpe Diem!
zed_momany: so your a philosofer
spiderpop: my a philsofer?
spiderpop: oh, sorry philOsofer
zed_momany: >:)
zed_momany: that s u
spiderpop: Where’s the idiot emoticon on here?
zed_momany: if u had a web cam u could make it
spiderpop: you better write that come-back down. That might be your best one ever.
zed_momany: there be more where that came from
spiderpop: please, let the onslaught begin
spiderpop: I’m hoping maybe I can pick up a few tips from the master
zed_momany: onslaught ??????
spiderpop: Yeah. It’s in the dictionary (honest). It’s under “O” for onslaught.
zed_momany: =; take this
zed_momany: thats a slap
spiderpop: oh
zed_momany: punk
spiderpop: hold on, let me write this down for future reference. I make a jab at your intelligence…you e-slap me, and then call me a punk. Is that how it works?
zed_momany: i can woup u with my intelligence any time , any day
zed_momany: foooo
zed_momany: u dont know who your messin with
zed_momany: cat got u’r tongue
zed_momany: u ve run offfff
zed_momany: afraid r ya
spiderpop: no, I’m marvelling at your atrocious spelling errors. You really are quite an intellectual
zed_momany: marvel this 0100
spiderpop: I’m marvelling.
zed_momany: still marvellin
zed_momany: how old r u
spiderpop: 23
zed_momany: i m older than u , did u know that
spiderpop: yeah, great. You act like you’re 13
zed_momany: u r lucky u’r not standing in front of me right now
zed_momany i would have made u wish u hadnt said that
spiderpop: typical
zed_momany: i would have made u cry like a baby
spiderpop: you sure can talk a lot of shit on the internet.
spiderpop: you’re real tough, i’m sure
spiderpop: being 13 and all
zed_momany: give me your address and we see who ’s talking shit
spiderpop: You wanna come over and hang out?
spiderpop: giving my address to you would be pointless, man
zed_momany: why
spiderpop: you have to be at least 16 to drive over here, and I don’t think we need to bring your mom into this equation
zed_momany: leave my family out of this plz
zed_momany: dont mention my mom nor dad
zed_momany: gatta leave now , i just joking about the stuff i said , hope u didnt get upset , hpoe we can be friends
spiderpop: yeah, come over sometime. We’ll get along great.